People think they know what I'm thinking and how I feel because of the last conversations I've had with them. I don't really talk to anyone about my feelings since I've learned to keep them to myself. Even if I were to feel a certain way, I wouldn't tell you. Even If I were incredibly happy or extremely bummed, I wouldn't tell anybody. Emotions just kept to themselves and I'd suffer quietly alone.

"I used to.."

I used to play the piano all the time but now I barely even touch the keys. I used to read endlessly but now I can't even finish "The witch of portobello"

All the things I used to love doing has been thrown to the side of the curb. Did I do those things more often when I was more independent? When my mind wasn't occupied by hard feelings and years of suppressed bitterness. I used to enjoy going to work everyday but now I dread fulfilling the required hours. Maybe different surroundings are the result to my changing behavior. I feel like I've been treated unfairly and I'm finally choosing to speak up. Yeah, voicing my opinion when it's too damn late.

What is the deal with my mood swings?

It's such a shame and a waste everytime. I can never seem to get a good grasp on it. I run and I run without looking back. It makes me sad but there's nothing else I know but to step with my right in front of my left. Making it to become a continuous pattern. My own invented instinct for which only I am able to use.

I have 45 minutes until I need to wake up to get ready for work. It's going to be crazy today. Hmmmmmmmmm the things I write are indirect so don't misinterpret. It's 5:48 AM.. What to do, what to do?